4: Speak Up
January 2, 2007 | By Joel Dehlin | 21 Comments
I professionally challenge, ask questions, propose alternatives, and exchange feedback.
I love to get together with groups of employees and just talk. Recently I gathered a group, and we just chatted. It was fun. I intentionally asked a tough question to see what the response would be. I was surprised and frankly delighted when the group came up with an answer that seemed like a pretty thoughtful, non-typical answer–an answer I thought made sense. I had really pushed for them to be honest so I felt pretty good that the group was thinking in a new way, what I thought was a healthy way. Here’s the thing. I really, honestly wanted to know what people thought.
Later I found out that there was some grumbling afterward and that a few people had been afraid or unwilling to speak their minds–they wanted to appear like they were aligned with what they thought I wanted; they wanted to be good soldiers.
That’s a shame. Yes, I’m not partial to complaining and whining. Yes, people need to get on the bandwagon when decisions are made and be supportive. But that doesn’t equate to a gag order!
If there’s anything I value, it’s opinions! And reason! And guts! Speak Up is our fourth cultural belief, and people do it far too infrequently.
Don’t get me wrong. Speaking up isn’t easy. Obviously I’m not as approachable as I think I am if people aren’t willing to always speak their minds. But it’s someting we’re trying consciously to improve.
Speaking up for the sake of speaking up doesn’t help anyone, including ourselves. We just come off as wanting to hear ourselves talk. Have you met people who spend brain cycles trying to consider what question will make them sound most intelligent? What a waste that is. Better to use our brains to try to understand things better and to solve problems.
It starts with a sincere thought. Speaking up when you have a sincere thought, even if it seems like a stupid one, is delightful to the ears. The thought you’re thinking is often the thought others are thinking. It’s the ones that seem really stupid, the one that everyone is unwilling to ask, that will often add the most value to a group. Or those creative thoughts which cause people to think in a different way. those are great ones, too!
The next step is to just blurt it out! If you have a thought, if you seek understanding, if you disagree, then for heaven’s sake–say so!! It’s ok to press your point. And it’s ok to acquiese. The key is to propel the discussion and the thinking (both the group’s and your own) forward!
Conversation is like ping pong. You serve it up, you wait for the return and then you shoot it back over. You can’t position your paddle in a certain place and hope the ball comes to you. You’ve got to take the ball where it shows up. If your “opponent” gives you massive back spin, you probably don’t want to “top” the return or it will end up in the net. We need to adapt. Likewise, we should use the same sort of verbal volleying when communicating.
We can’t just talk. We need to turn our ears on when communicating; really listen. We need to really try to understand the point of the person we’re talking to; we may very well find that we actually understand them better as a result. Or we may find that we can help them remove the straw from between their ears. In any case, we’ll BOTH be better off if we listen.
I desperately crave push back. And we should all do the same. We’re striving in our group to improve upon our cultural belief of Speaking Up!!


Jared vanderHorst said...
This truly is critical. Getting a group together and having a meeting is often for this very purpose. Yes, sometimes it is important to have a meeting to outline an initiative and as a result there won’t be a whole lot of interaction, but in general a meeting is for the sharing of ideas. If someone sees a potential problem, but doesn’t mention it in one of the initial meetings, it’s very likely this problem will come up and cause a lot of extra work and expense farther on down the road.
On the other side of this coin is that some meetings just get bogged down in potential problems that really aren’t much of a problem. It really comes down to a good balance between speaking up and knowing when to move on.
January 2, 2007 8:10 pm #
Lincoln Cannon said...
There is a substantial extent to which speaking up conflicts with getting on the bandwagon and being supportive when decisions are made. No discussion happens without a context of previously-made decisions, each of which scopes our comfort with speaking up. Frequently, although we can make better decisions in the current situation when we are willing to reconsider decisions made in previous situations, we fear promoting reconsideration because of the associated risk that those empowered over our livelihoods will consider us unsupportive complainers. Certainly there is a practical limit to the reconsideration we should entertain, but some (most?) members of an organization will measure that limit differently than their leaders, so leaders should expect that some members of their organization will fear speaking up. When we accept this, we can work to diminish it without making anyone feel guilty for being the person who, in a given situation, measures the practical limit of reconsideration further than anyone else in the group.
As a culture, we, the members of the LDS Church, tend toward convergent thought. For a few of us, this tendency goes so far as fear or demonization of divergent thought, equivocating between it and contention. Consequently, our decisions are more narrow minded than they need be, regardless of whether we are the few who fear divergent thought or the many who fear those we suspect to fear divergent thought. We will improve our ability to make good decisions as we work to counteract this cultural tendency.
January 2, 2007 9:55 pm #
Joel Dehlin said...
Individuals need to be willing to, with love, listen to divergent thought, whether or not we judge it to be reasonable thought. If we train ourselves to trust others, we will trust that they’re purposefully bringing issues up and we’ll stop to listen. We can of course respectfully disagree, but people will feel better, having been listened to and not “demonized.” And we will more often be taught by others.
Thanks Lincoln.
January 2, 2007 10:20 pm #
Terry W. Bird said...
In the context of a true brainstorming session, it is critical to “trust” that first thought that flashes through your mind. Ofttimes, inspiration comes at a moments notice and, if not acted upon, will vanish.
I agree with “thanks lincoln”’s line of “If we train ourselves to trust others.” But also believe that we NEED to train ourselves to trust ourselves!
Father gave us brains and voices to use, and that properly. If that sometimes means “kicking against the (cactus)”, well, so be it. Just do it! And TRUST!
January 3, 2007 6:44 am #
Sorrel Jakins said...
You said: “Obviously I’m not as approachable as I think I am if people aren’t willing to always speak their minds. ”
Sorrel says: I do not think it is about you. This is an unfortunate side effect of membership in the LDS Church, where people get the idea that if I push back on you, I am not ’sustaining’ you. This indicates an even more fundamental misunderstanding of the rôle of giving and taking counsel in our ecclesiastical endeavours.
January 3, 2007 8:18 am #
Ben Charron said...
Years ago, I had an impromtu meeting with my staff to discuss how our department could be more effective. I think this caught them by surprise particularly since I asked for any “blue sky” comments and suggestions. For the first while, they just sat there not sure of what to say, although it was obvious that they wanted to say something. After some prompting and assurances that no crazy solution would be overlooked, they began to open up. When they did, it was great. They were surprised that I wrote all the whaky ideas down.
The next day, after I did some classifying of the ideas, we sat down again to come up with ways of actually implementing some of these crazy ideas in the real world. To give an example, one idea was to disconnect the phones because the constant calls made it difficult to concentrate on tasks and often the “train of thought” was derailed. Sounds simple enough, except that we were a service organization that needed to respond quickly to our customers’ needs (other departments). What we came up with was to use a “buddy” system. The staff was paired off. In the morning, one person forwarded their phones to their “buddy” and in the afternoon, it flipped to the other “buddy”. This allowed staff to concentrate on tasks and complete them more quickly, effectively and with fewer errors. What started as a crazy idea was successfully implemented.
As a manager, I knew that I did not have all the answers and that I had a very intelligent group to work with. What had never been done before became a successful avenue for improving the effectiveness of our group – thanks to their participation.
Oh, by the way, speaking of technology, I was just wondering why there is a link on the word “crikey” that leads to a WikiNews article about the Crocodile Hunter’s unfortunate demise.
January 3, 2007 9:31 am #
Rod Mortensen said...
Mr. Dehlin,
I have never written code but have been a heavy computer user since the PC first became widely available. I have had to manage computers at the ward and stake level and have for many years managed computers for architectural and construction firms I have worked for or owned. In that time I have worked with numerous software applications and operating systems. With that here is my question: Why has the the IT department of the church largely ignored the Macintosh OS when we emphasizes so much teaching people in the language that the individual is most comfortable with? I have worked with and had to maintain DOS, Windows and the Mac OS and in the end I prefer the Mac. Yes I know some will say “well you can run windows on the mac now” but do you realize how much that costs and how much space that takes up of my harddrive? It is not worth it and so often when I try to use church websites and want to buy church software I feel discriminated against.
Luckily my Mac is very backwards compatible as compared to Microsoft systems. I am still using PAF 2.3.1 for the Mac and on occasion a piece of drafting software thaw was last updated in 1991. But I can’t buy the latest family history database nor can I listen to LDS Radio.
Anyway, I was just wondering if you have any plans to include our language in your plans.
January 3, 2007 9:45 am #
Joel Dehlin said...
Ben. Great example. Thank you! (This post was borrowed from an internal post I did the week Steve died. The link was meant as a nod to an amazing guy.)
Rod. We don’t purchase macs for the clerk’s offices primarily because of the cost. We support macs on lds.org. We are working on support for macs with our geneaology systems.
January 3, 2007 9:56 am #
Connor said...
I desperately crave push back.
This is the sign of an excellent leader. So, good job!
I appreciate employers who instruct me on what to do, but leave the how up to me. Homogenizing my development practices to suit their whims would mean a loss of productivity and creativity, in my opinion. But a leader who encourages and expects strong minds and opinions—with obedience and support when a decision has been reached—will find much more success.
We are working on support for macs with our geneaology systems.
As a huge mac addict, this is so reassuring to hear! I’m currently running PAF and the extraction software on Parallels, but I look forward to OS X native apps (is this what you’re alluding to?)!
January 3, 2007 10:13 am #
Chad Petty said...
I’ve noticed that the smaller the group, the easier it is to speak up. In my company (software development), we have “roundtables” with high-level managers and executives, and they are limited to 8 people. In such a smaller, informal environment, it becomes much easier for us to truly speak our mind, especially once we see that others are doing the same.
January 3, 2007 10:58 am #
ℑ smallplates » Blog Archive » Communication Amongst The Ranks said...
[...] I just read today a great post by the Church’s CIO, Joel Dehlin entitled “Speak Up”. Having served in a mission office for part of my own missionary service, I really felt that communication was not what leaders in the Church were after. It’s really great to here someone from the top voice a need for exchange. Later I found out that there was some grumbling afterward and that a few people had been afraid or unwilling to speak their minds–they wanted to appear like they were aligned with what they thought I wanted; they wanted to be good soldiers. [...]
January 3, 2007 11:29 am #
Sister Phyl said...
Sorrel says: I do not think it is about you. This is an unfortunate side effect of membership in the LDS Church, where people get the idea that if I push back on you, I am not ’sustaining’ you. This indicates an even more fundamental misunderstanding of the role of giving and taking counsel in our ecclesiastical endeavours.
I whole-heartedly agree with Sorrel Jakins!!! It seems to be even harder for the sisters to ask questions without the “I am not ’sustaining’ you” or “respecting the priesthood” response.
January 3, 2007 1:25 pm #
Michelle said...
I don’t think a fear of speaking up in a work environment with one’s leaders is a uniquely LDS phenomenon. Any hierarchical organization runs the risk of people feeling afraid of ‘crossing’ superiors, especially when there is a perception that one’s job success is controlled to some degree by one’s leader (promotions, job reviews, etc.) I think so much depends on a leader and the work culture and relationships of trust he or she fosters.
January 3, 2007 4:27 pm #
Andrew Curtis said...
We all function at different dimensions. And if we “speak up” and embrace one another’s dimension, we then become a whole. It’s called “Synergy” in the model we all familiar with. Things that we could not have brought into concept without the other person! We need to eventually move away from the thought that our idea will not please or maybe offend our leaders. Also, we need to consider that becoming offended when leadership move in another direction after they have gathered all the pertinent information is useless and not directed toward “you” personally. Feedback is crucial for BOTH parties and without it the fire will slowly dissipate. Brother Dehlin, you have quite a creative itinerary!
January 4, 2007 12:54 am #
Jeff VanDrimmelen said...
How grateful I am for a professional blog that links to the scriptures. Thanks for the example!
January 5, 2007 2:18 pm #
Bryan said...
What a beautiful discussion! As a new counselor in a bishopric, I often find myself naturally thinking crossgrain to the bishop’s expressed feelings to explore the edges and permutations of the subject, but I’m afraid my expressions are sometimes perceived as counterproductive. Is there a rule of thumb that one could use to make a split-second decision as to whether to speak or remain silent?
On the Mac topic, I applaud the recent advances! A few questions:
1. Do you factor in the cost of Windows security maintenance in your cost estimates?
2. If MLS is written in Java, does that mean it could be easily ported to the Mac if cost or security landscape made it attractive?
3. Has the church considered moving MLS to the web for units that could utilize it there? e.g. allow elders quorum presidents to modify hometeaching routes from home, and synchronize with the clerk’s office computer when the synchronization is done.
4. Regarding PAF, rather than porting PAF to the Mac, has the church considered licensing or buying Reunion from the folks at Leister Productions? (top-notch Mac genealogy app, no connection to me)
I very much enjoy your blog, thanks for sharing with us.
January 5, 2007 11:39 pm #
Cousin Kirsten said...
Amen Joel
January 6, 2007 12:22 am #
Don Stevens said...
Hi Joel,
Isn’t technology great? I’m teaching School in Point Hope Alaska with 5 other member teachers and another member couple making 8 members here in our group. We are just one of the twigs off the Barrow Alaska Branch. On Sunday, we join with the Barrow Branch for Sacrament service using the telephone conference call system and then most of the time have our own Sunday School and Relief Society / Priesthood meeting.
It’s nice being able to receive materials and information on the Internet for lessons and information as some times the mail delivery system is slow up here and we don’t always them get things on time.
One question….. are the pictures for the lessons available for download? If so, I haven’t been able to find them.
Thanks
January 6, 2007 9:54 pm #
Tony Smith said...
I didn’t read many of the responses in this chain. Still, I would like to explain how I arrived here and offer a suggestion. I followed links from the official lds.org site to this chain. I read the learning experiences of both manager and employees. While necessary, and I’m sure they lead eventually to an uplifting outcome, the remarks here are opinions of individuals, which don’t appear to represent the First Presidency. I would just ask that you consider the effects of placing a link on the Church web site connecting the many who traverse thereby (seeking inspiration of the Lord’s servants) to this blog and the individual learning experiences of this group.
January 7, 2007 7:40 pm #
Russell said...
Dear Brother Dehlin,
I read most all of your blog a couple of days ago. I wanted to comment then, but it didn’t feel right. As I sat journalling this evening I felt it was time to write. I originally was going to comment on the various entries individually. But as this one is appropriately titled “Speak Up”, it all conveniently fits under one umbrella. I hope it simplifies your life just a bit this way.
I joined the Church four years ago. For the last eight years, or so, I’ve been working in IT. I’m a very critical, analytical thinker raised in very agnostic circumstances by very fine, morally strong parents with an air of sarcasm enclosing anything that smacked of organized religion. The fact that our Father opened my heart through this mix of skepticism and sarcasm is nothing less than a miracle for which I’m eternally grateful.
The work of your department played some part in that. When I was “investigating” one of the things that resonated with my own work was the care given to the human-computer interaction on your various websites. If you had produced a rough-cut, hobbyist-level site it would have left another hurdle for my testimony. I would’ve had to answer, “Why does the Lord allow his Church to be mediocre in the most important job I can think of, my own?”
I can safely say, there was no hurdle. The site was beautiful, easy to use, and accessible. It was obvious that your department strove to meet real people with useful software that begins to “disappear” as you use it.
Additionally, I sparked an interest in another IT friend of mine by bearing my new and sensitive testimony, including a mention of your websites. He spent the next night devouring everything about fundamental doctrine therein. He, too, has joined the Church with the website(s) as a part of the bridge.
Thank you.
I would especially like to thank whomever put together the Flash interactive music player. Very classy, useful. I was proud to share the simplified URI, lds.org/cm with my Ward choir. BTW, simplifying your URIs in all places would be a boon.
To this blog, I respect you very much for practicing what you preach and speaking up. When things are transparent (like when user-interfaces “disappear”) they are easier to trust.
So, finally, thank you, your staff, and your predecessor for a job well done. I’d like to finish with some brief comment on your blog posts.
1: World Class I.T. – In the world, not of the world. ‘Tis a world-wide church. For the Lord, you have no choice but to be world-class from the world’s eyes. But you should also know and share that it’s got to be above “world”-class. I would remind you of the Savior’s words, “be ye therefore perfect…”
2: Receive Revelation – One trouble (and boon) with much technology is that we learn by example. Revelation is critical if you’re going to meet goal #1 and transcend your worldly examples. We have no example of how the Lord would write code, but I have my own feelings on that one. Good article.
3: Know My Customer – In writing it’s “know your audience”. Very important. It’s the occupational version of, “Why are we here?” This is still only the worldly perspective, however. I would add to all believing people of faith, know your Judge/Maker/Savior. I know that the Lord expects much of me in my job. He’s an ever present audience. Plus, I’m an example to others. Every person working in IT everywhere is representing the Savior as they solve information-related problems. For you this “be an example” feeling has got to be huge. I really wanted you to hear my own success story above. Again, thanks.
4: Speak Up – It’s nice to see somebody in as big of shoes as yours say “Obviously I’m not as approachable as I think I am if people aren’t willing to always speak their minds. But it’s something we’re trying consciously to improve.” Thanks for keeping humble. Communication is hard. Unity is difficult. But oh so worth it when it happens.
Open Source – Open source has many promises beyond what you list. Like many terms, the problem with the term “open source” is that it agglomerates too many smaller concepts making it hard to form value statements on it. I could go on and on about the pros and the cons related to it, but will spare you. I would encourage you to break it down into smaller pieces and then judge. From my own view, and back to transparency being easier to trust, there is just some information that really should be open.
I do hope you read this. Feel free to share it. Thanks again.
January 7, 2007 8:34 pm #
Sister Phyl said...
Have you read “The leadership secrets of Colin Powell” by Oren Harari? Colin also wants “push back”, honesty, and “what can I do to make your job easier?”
January 10, 2007 6:26 pm #